Weary

The house is immaculately clean (at least as immaculate as it can be with 3 cats, 1 dog, a four year old boy and a husband).  There is a for sale sign stuck in our front lawn.  There are strangers coming into our house. 

It is officially for sale. 

As we entered this time of upheaval, my quiet time was interrupted.  All spring and summer, I was waking before the rest of the household, sitting up and reading my Bible in bed.  There was enough light, and if there wasn't, I could turn my bedside lamp on dim and that would provide enough light.  But as we head into winter, it is dark in the mornings.  I don't want to wake my husband by turning the light on more, and I don't want to wake my son by going in the living room (light sleeper).  So I had inadvertently stopped having a quiet time.  Sometimes I would take a few minutes in the evening but I didn't have a dedicated time scheduled daily when I needed one the most.

I still do not want to sell my house.  Even when I know in my head that it is the best decision.  I am still struggling with it. In the evenings, I didn't want to think about it.  I found myself falling back on my preferred method of drowning out my thoughts - TV.

We don't actually have TV reception and we do not subscribe to cable, but we have a subscription to Netflix in order to watch movies.  However, I found there are TV shows available to watch instantly.  Instead of sitting down with my bible and reading Scripture, I found myself tuning in to a TV show. 

This is a slippery slope for me.  I had been down it before.  It is how I drown out things I don't want to deal with.  It was my coping mechanism during several years of depression.

But I also know it doesn't help. 

After several weeks of turning to TV and not being able to sleep at night, I realized I needed to turn to something else. 

So I started having my quiet time before bed.  I climb into bed a little earlier than I plan on going to sleep, pull out my Bible and continue reading in Matthew (I am still working my way through the Bible from cover to cover.)

And I read, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28

And He takes my burden and He gives me rest.  And I am so thankful and grateful for His love.

In His Grace...